My Day
by tvdunlop
Summary: Ellie Bartlet's thoughts on her wedding day...becoming slightly AU because I don't know what's happening after the wedding, but keeping with the show as best I can. Please review.
1. of memories

Hey everyone. This is my first West Wing story and one of my first stories actually.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, just borrowing for creativity. Everything belongs to NBC and the writers, producers, and creators.

Note

This contains SPOILERS for 12/11 episode. By spoilers I mean like the clips they show, "stay tuned for scenes from an all new west wing." Obviously I haven't seen the episode yet, but it looks awesome. Enjoy….

Ellie's POV:

I'm getting married today, at the White House. It's the ironic combination, for the duration of my father's presidency I have struggled to stay out of the limelight. I have avoided family outings, parties, galas. My parents have both accepted this, but a wedding was not to be overlooked. My father had to turn this into a political solution for every issue on his plate; sadly as the leader of the free world he has a lot of those. However, he's my father. I remember Lizzie's wedding, it's been a while, probably about thirteen years, he could hardly let go of her. I'm next, me Ellie, today is my day. For the daughter my father never understood, the traditional time to leave the ultimate nest has come. I think though, that I left that nest years ago. Sometimes growing up, I felt like I was never there to begin with. My father never understood my aversion to his presidency; Lizzie and Zoey were always beside him supporting his campaign. Where was I? I was in medical school. My mother stood by most of my decisions, which was enough for my father, Abigail Bartlet is a force to be reckoned with. She also sympathized with my inner turmoil. I often wondered if my father loved me like he loved his other daughters. Was I failure in his eyes, or did he simply not understand me. Interestingly enough, when Zoey was kidnapped, it was I who stayed with him, not Liz.

I guess that the White House has always unsettled me; I still fail to navigate the doors of my father's office correctly. This dress is beautiful. I suppose, despite the awfulness of having to be in agreement with every possible detail of world policy, that this day holds memories I'll never forget. I'm making them right now. I twirl; yes I am capable of finding my inner child, the dress flows from my body. My hand falls to my stomach; my child will be so lucky. Suddenly it's all too much, the baby, the wedding, marriage. I just want to be a little girl again, curled up in mom's lap, or listening to my dad read a bedtime story. I feel tears bubble up. It must be the hormones; this is the happiest day of my life, that's what every bride says.

Suddenly someone knocks, "Ellie," it's my dad.

I frantically try and stop the tears, "come in."

Jed's POV:

I open the door and see a vision. My beautiful daughter looks like an angel, there's only one problem. An angel, or any bride, should not have a face streaked with tears on her wedding day. I step forward feeling my concern bubble up, it's fatherly concern, even now I feel the urge to rock her to sleep like I did when she was a baby crying in her crib. "What's wrong?" I know something is amiss.

She looks at me and I'm caught by the look in her eyes. She's happy, but there's a flicker of confusion, I realize that I know it well. It's not about the wedding, it's about something else.

"Ellie, are you okay, is the baby okay?" I know the baby is fine, but the grandpa in me has to ask.

She nods and wipes her eyes again attempting a smile, "the baby is fine dad."

"What then?" I know opening up to me isn't something she's good at.

She always talked to Abbey, and often not even to her. Once she went to college, we lost sight of her. I suppose it wasn't her fault, I was busy too. Guilt shoots through me, a father should never be too busy for his daughter.

"I was just remembering how hard it was for you to let go of Lizzie," her voice is quiet.

I'm surprised she actually started talking so I stay silent watching her face.

"I was feeling for my baby and wondering if you were going to have the same difficulty letting go of me." She still isn't looking at me.

I still am not entirely sure I understand her, but I know now I was right to an extent. The look she had in her eyes was something that's been there for a long time, and it has to do with me.

"Sometimes I feel like you've already let me go," her words are almost mouthed.

All I know at that moment is pain, then anger, and finally resignation. Ellie has never believed I love her in the same I love my other daughters. How can I convince her? The realization comes to me in a flash; she doesn't need to be reassured of past love, but of future love.

"Ellie, giving a daughter away is difficult for any father. Giving Lizzie away was admitting I didn't have a say in her life, respect and love yes, but control no. She belongs to someone else, I become a bystander, and I was no longer the center of her life. I think for us, the circumstances are different. The feeling that I've let you go isn't the kind of letting go that you think it is. I haven't given away love for Lizzie, and I won't give away love for you. My love for my family, my daughters has and always will be constant. There is no ebb and flow in pure love Ellie; you will learn that in your marriage. You have always been independent and we often haven't seen eye to eye, but Ellie, those elements don't alter love. They don't alter a father's bond with a child. I don't want to give you away today, any more than I did with Liz. For you however, things were not as they were with Liz, every relationship is different between parents and offspring. Ellie, I love you as my daughter, not compared to Liz or Zoë, not as someone who strove to create a life away from my over protectiveness, and not as the middle daughter, but as my child."  
Her eyes are watering and she looks relieved, hesitant and stunningly beautiful.

"You look like an angel," I wipe the tears away with the handkerchief I have in my pocket, it is meant for Abbey.

"I love you daddy," her voice is shaking, but strong.

I hold her in my arms, she's leaving me today, but I know now that we have bridged a gap. She knows my love, she understands the purity and she's ready to be married.

"Dad, you look pretty dashing too," her smile warms my heart.

"Only the best for my girl," I tease her.

"You're always going to be my dad," she smiles and this time her eyes are clear, shining with happiness, love and excitement, they sparkle.

"I'm so proud of you," I adjust the veil on her head and she kisses my cheek.


	2. old friends

Chapter 2: One hour

I have one hour, then I will be married. My dad has just left to attend to world affairs. I refuse to even worry, but something big is going on and I'm nervous about that. He looks so tired; thankfully he only has a little time left before he can retire. I remember growing up how hard he worked for causes he believed in, he still does, but now things are more about maintaining some makings of world peace, keeping everyone else happy and getting through the next months. Sometimes I wish he had never ended up in the White House. Actually while I was in med school I often wished that. I stayed away from the family and missed seeing my sisters, but I couldn't stand the thought that my father was the leader of the free world and I felt like a disappointment to him.

I still remember when I was young how my mother would be the one to offset my father's comments. She's here too, helping with last minute preparations. I'm having a White House wedding, my father is lapping it up. I still feel so much better though.

This dress really is beautiful. It is so gaudy, not Ellie Bartlet at all. I like it not being me though, I like feeling different. I examine myself in the mirror. My dad said I looked like an angel, do I really? Am I ready for this life; am I truly ready to be a mom? I mean come on, this is me, Ellie, I'm a doctor, I'm a new bride, what have I gotten myself into? Oh, I hate these thoughts, they're silly. Just then there's another knock on the door. "Come in," I turn.

CJ walks into the room with a smile on her face, "oh don't you look gorgeous."

I've stopped being angry at her for sticking us with Will. He's an okay guy and she clearly had a serious problem on her hands, speaking of which.

"CJ is my dad okay?" I don't need to know details, but will he still be able to give me away.

She smiles, "he'll be back soon, there's a minor thing with China and Russia, your dad is handling some talks."

I turn back towards the mirror forcing the smile to stay where it is. My father is handling some talks between two major powers? That does not help the nerves.

"Sweetie, he'll be back very soon," her voice is reassuring, but for my entire life things of world importance have haunted our relationship. No, the choices that came with this territory have haunted us. I guess there really isn't much difference.

Just then my mom comes bounding in and stops with a huge smile on her face, "oh honey, you do take my breath away."

I manage a smile at her and she eyes me, "has your father been by?"

I nod, "we had a good talk."

"Good," she looks satisfied, "well everything is all set, and it's beautiful."

I turn back to the mirror, "CJ can I talk to you," my mom's tone isn't lost on me; she's my mother after all.

They take their leave smiling as they go but of course there's something they aren't telling me. I suppose that's for my own good, but right now it doesn't seem like it.

Just then mom waltzes back in, "are you all set?"

She looks excited.

"What makes a good marriage; I mean how did you and dad stay together for so long?" The look on her face is one of surprise and then understanding. She sits down on the bed and I stand watching her. "Eleanor, every marriage has its rough spots. You know that." I study her, "but you and dad still love each other, you're still happy."

I'm pleased to see her smile grow as she fondly remembers, "yes Ellie, your dad and I are all of those things." I wait patiently.

"We're soul mates. That isn't explaining much to you. I suppose you could say that we connect on a level deeper than with any other person. I can tell when your father is angry at someone or something by the way he looks at me, or by the way he ties his tie. He can tell when something has hurt me, or when I disapprove of something he does just seeing how I carry myself. We both have strong morals, and we're stubborn, but we've learned how to give." She looks up at me, "does that make sense to you?"

I nod feeling I'm like I'm back in my childhood getting a life lesson.

"I have to go check on the food; we're down to about forty five minutes."

"Mom, will you check on dad, something's going on."

A shadow passes briefly over her face, "it's under control, and you are not to worry." "Mom," I know I'm pleading with her.

"Ellie," she pauses, "I'll be so glad when we're out of the White House," she turns and walks out leaving me to wonder what is going on.

Abbey's POV:  
Damn Jed, I love the jackass, but this is too much. First Ellie agrees to a White House wedding, then she agrees to all Jed's guests, a new dress, particular food, and now his job once again is messing with her head. I know my middle daughter very well. I certainly know her better than she thinks I do. This is eating at her, this responsibility, having her father as the president. It's been eating at me for eight years, I'm so proud of him, but I can't wait until this is over. I'm going to have my way with our lives after this and we're leaving Washington and politics. We're going back to the farm. I know Jed is sorry for what this job has done to his family, but I also know that a large part of him thrives on the challenge presented, but he's feeling old. I'm growing older ten times faster watching him struggle to keep it together. I am powerless to stop this; only at the end of his presidency will the slow decay of Jed Bartlet slow. Am I selfish to want more time with him? I don't know how long I have, no one does. He's still healthy, but the last attack scared me, I thought then (again) that it was truer than ever that I would lose him. He's here, still kicking, but I think he knows that he is starting to struggle with weight of the world. I chuckle at my own pathetic humor as I make my way to the food tent. "Mrs. Bartlet," I turn laughing to myself as the famous Josh and Donna walk towards me. Donna is stunning, she's dressed in an elegant knee-length dress, it's a tasteful blue that's both cheerful and yet tame. Her hair is in waves and pulled back just from her face, her make up is flawless and she's beaming. Maybe that's because she's on the arm of Josh who is beaming as well. He cleans up pretty nicely. Neither one of them are in the wedding, they will probably be in Zoey's because she was always closer to them than Ellie was. However Ellie wanted them here and they were able to slip away for the day. "Josh, Donna, it's wonderful to see you," I embrace them.

"Toby asked us to pass on his congratulations." Josh shifts awkwardly.

Of course Toby, another tragedy and an unexplained one at that.

"Thank you Josh, tell Ellie after," I don't want to weigh her mind down with more. He understands.

"JOSH!" We turn as Sam comes dashing through the tent almost colliding with the tray of expensive food, my heart skips a beat. He throws his arms around Josh, and for a split moment, things are exactly as they should be.


	3. Long time no see

Chapter 3: long time no see

Sam's POV:

I'm back with my family at least that's what it feels like. I have missed them so much. Josh and Donna are standing together arm in arm grinning, did I miss something?

"How are you doing?" I direct the question towards all three of them.

Abbey smiles and says in her cheerful way, "oh well Sam you know, life goes on, Jed's in the office, but he'll be so happy to see you. Excuse me," she turns.

"Ma'am," I nod politely. "So you two slipped away for the day?"

I am so happy to see them, Josh grins, "Someone we managed to convince the Congressmen that it was necessary." "

I believe it was I who suggested that we accept the invitation because it would look good." I can tell from Donna's response she's growing into her new role.

"Is the Congressman here?" I'd like to meet him.

Josh nods, "He's coming with Helen, they'll be here in about fifteen minutes, and he had to meet with Leo about something." I don't pry, today is not the day for politics. However as I look around I begin to recognize people, "Wow."

"I know, they went all out," Josh said.

"Spanky!" I freeze, oh my, this is going to be fun.

I turn and see CJ walking towards me, goodness that woman is stunning.

She embraces me, "it's so good to see you again Sam. We've missed you here stirring up trouble."

"I've missed you too CJ," I can feel the grin threatening to explode off my face.

"Let's get some seats," Donna suggests.

As we head over to some empty ones in the front I lower my voice and ask CJ, "Have you heard from Toby?" Her face tightens, "Josh had a bit of a conversation with him a while ago, but other than that no we haven't. We're not allowed to until the investigation is finished." I nod feeling sad that I've lost touch with him. Will arrives with a blonde haired woman, wow, she's beautiful. "Sam," CJ whispers warningly.

Right right, "Sam Seaborne," I extend my hand.

"Kate Harper," she smiles.

"Will," he shakes my hand. "It's good to see you Sam," he looks pretty good. Who else haven't I seen, oh Zoey, Liz, and Leo.

"Hey kid," speak of the devil, no one could mistake him for anyone else. I turn around and embrace the man I always thought of as my dad.

"Hey Leo, you're looking well." Josh had called me after his heart attack and I'd kept in touch with Josh about his health ever since. It was a relief to see him looking so happy. "Josh?" The ever growing group turns to see Liz, her family, and Zoey making their way towards us. Zoey gets more sophisticated every time I see her. Goodness. She embraces all of us, I love weddings, and this is why people marry. We grouped in two rows and continued our yakking.

Jed's POV:

Well the troops won't make a move for another hour that gives me just time to marry my daughter, and make it through the receiving line before I have to go head off world war III. I make my way towards the door. Just then it opens and there's my wife.

"Abbey," I smile tiredly at her.

"Are you okay?" She always did get straight to the point.

"Things are dicey," I can't explain more.

She nods understandingly, "everyone seems to be here, the Congressman and his wife just arrived, Sam is here, and the girls are all dressed up and ready."

My whole family, my extended family too, they are all here. "Toby," it comes out before I realize it.

Abbey's eyes study me, "Jed?" I know she is worried about my health, I think I'm ok.

Abbey's POV:

Ever since Zoey's kidnapping he's been hiding a little from me, granted things are back to normal, but every now and then I sense he isn't open with me.

"Damn it Jed," the words spill out and his head jerks up. "Answer me!"

"Abbey," his voice cracks. I put my arms around my husband wishing I could ease his pain. His life is spinning right now, and he's only one man, he's human.

"Jed, it's okay, it'll be ok, I'm here," I know these words will sink it eventually. How does he do this? How does he marry off his daughter, an emotional thing for any father, prevent a war and pretend that he's ok. He's not, this thing with Toby; well we've never talked about it. It was over, done and yesterday's news very quickly. That was the point for the rest of the world, but not for me. I wanted to hear Jed regret, hear him bemoan the loss of his friend, but there was nothing but silence. Until now he hasn't talked to me. I can feel his pain; I know the betrayal is there, but mostly not having his friend anymore. "Jed, we need to go, can you do this?" He straightens up and I wipe the tears from his eyes desperately trying to convey with mine that things will be okay, I won't let him down. He plants a gentle kiss on my forehead and puts on his jacket.

"Let's go," he makes his way to Ellie's room and I make my way towards the tent where all of our loved ones and a few hundred more have gathered.

Ellie's POV:

I'm standing here waiting, eight minutes, I know people have gathered, they're not milling around anymore. I've heard that Sam is here, that's good. However Toby is not and I guess that's to be expected. There's no way he could come and I'm sure my father wishes never to lay eyes on him again. Just then the door opens and my dad is standing there. His eyes are slightly red and damp and I can't tell why.

"Daddy?" I never call him that, I can see the guilt in his eyes.

"Are you ready beautiful?" "What happened?" he has to tell me. But he doesn't, he remains silent. My eyes plead with him, but I receive nothing.

"Eleanor, you know some things can't be talked about."

"Russia and China," that's all I respond.

"There are some difficulties, but I'm sure we'll work it out," he doesn't say anything else. "Are they going to war?" I'm asking the leader of the free world.

"Not while I have a breath left in my body," my dad sounds determined and tired.

I let it rest, "have you heard anything from Toby?"

He doesn't answer that either, instead he holds out his arm and I take it. Some things I guess are just better left alone.


	4. Till Death Do Us Part

Any dialogue used from "The Wedding" is property of NBC, I'm just borrowing it for context.

"And all the soldiers were waving, I remember dad," I remember when this happened. No other words are exchanged and I move my veil down. Dad reaches up to help me. He studies my form with tears in his eyes, "Take my arm," I whisper. We move down the aisle.

Abbey's POV:  
Jed is giving our second daughter away, she is stunning. Ellie and I were always closer than she and Jed were. However, I think in this act of giving her away that there's a good chance they've declared some sort of truce. I'm a loving mother who treasures her daughters and seeing my girls happily married gives me an even prouder feeling. Jed is the one who always struggled to connect with Ellie. Zoey and Lizzie really held his heart. I know Ellie was often left out, but she was always the one that kept Jed guessing. I think I enjoyed that about her and their relationship. Today though they have moved on and I'm glad that the past is the past.

Donna's POV:

I don't know Ellie that well, but I do know that this is my dream wedding. Sometimes I wonder how Josh and I would ever be happy together and most days I don't even doubt it. However he is concerned with a map and I'm knee deep in his latest adventure. Is this how it's always supposed to be, me working for him, doing things for him and always fated to stay separate? Some days this just seems too hard. Before I know it we're filing out of the church, Josh in front of me. We stand in the receiving line, Ellie is glowing with happiness. I suddenly lose it and have to excuse myself. I make my way to the back porch which is in the garden behind the Oval Office. I don't see Leo until he puts his hand on my shoulder, "Donna?"

"Leo!" I turn startled brushing tears away.

"You okay?" his eyes meet mine and I know he's wondering what is wrong with me.

"I'm sorry, weddings do things to my mood," lame excuse, but true in a way.

"And the man you're with does the other things and leaves you in a crying mess," Leo observes.

"I'm sorry?" I can pretend to be dumb.

"Donna, the pretending doesn't suit you," okay maybe not.  
"Leo, it's just that…" I don't know what to say.

"That kid has been in love with you for years Donna, but the time isn't right."  
"I know," I snap feeling irritated, "it'll never be right Leo," I feel desperate.

"Yes it will," he states softly, "just wait, it will," he turns to walk away.

"Leo," he pauses, "did you mean what you said?" I wait breathlessly.  
"Every word," he smiles back and goes back to the party.

Jed's POV:  
She's married, I'm involved in preventing World War III and my oldest daughter is looking pensive. Family and job conflicts collide, but Lizzie is my firstborn. She needs to talk, "Liz?"

"Hey daddy, it was a beautiful wedding, you even made it," she cracks.

I ignore her comment, "Everything okay?" I prod her waiting for her to open up.

"Yeah, just tired dad, it's nothing," she doesn't meet my eye.

"Elizabeth," I know my warning won't have a huge effect, but it used to.

"I recognize that tone," she responds.

"Good," I feel powerful.

"Its Doug dad, he's acting weird," she admits.

"How so?" I like that man, I always have.

"Has he hurt you?" A father still has to ask.  
"No," but her no isn't too emphatic.

"Elizabeth I swear to God, if he's laid a hand on you I'll call out the…"

"Hush," she cuts me off sharply, "it's not that dad, and I'm fine."

"What aren't you telling me?" I worry.

"I'm pregnant again," she finally looks up and I tense at the confused look in her eyes.

"That's wonderful honey, congratulations, why haven't you told us yet?" She shouldn't be this worried about good news.

"It's Ellie's day," Liz looks proudly at her younger sister, "I want it to be all hers, she deserves it."

My daughters have always been protective of one another, considering the lives they've led; I guess they have to be.

"Have you told Doug?" I wait for her response.  
She shakes her head, "no, not yet."  
"When did you find out?" How long has she been keeping this secret?

"Three weeks," she doesn't meet my eyes, avoidance, that is an Ellie trait.

"And you haven't told him?" This is not something that a father likes to hear.  
"Dad, I'm grown up now, please don't do this, at least not now," her tired tone, defeated, makes me pause.

"Okay sweetheart, but if you need anything…" I know she won't ask.

"Thanks dad," she smiles at me.

"Hey," Zoey suddenly walks up to us.  
"Hey Sis," Liz gives her a hug.

Abbey's POV:

It's almost time for the dance. Jed, Liz and Zoey are walking towards me. They're all smiling, but Zoey's is the only one that's genuine. Liz looks likes she's trying to keep things together and Jed looks concerned. No wonder considering what his day has been like.

Jed steps up to Ellie, "Dance?"

"Sure dad," now she is really smiling.

They're actually not tripping, Jed is a fairly good dancer and I guess Ellie is as well.

"Liz," I turn to her, "what's going on?"

"Not you too," she moans.

"Elizabeth," I scold.

"The tone too, I can see why you and dad mesh so well," clearly Jed has already talked to her. I'll get the scoop from him later.

"Sorry," I slip my arm around her as we watch the two spin around.

"Liz," Doug steps up and holds out his hand.

She takes it and follows him out next to Ellie and Jed.

My husband's eye is now going back and forth between the two daughters. He smiles at Ellie and is eyeing Liz and Doug with concern. Just then C.J appears, "Mrs. Bartlet," she smiles apologetically.

"Let me guess," I don't have to say it.

She catches Jed's eye and he nods his head.

The song ends less than a minute later and he kisses Ellie's cheek before handing her back to her new man. He touches Liz on the shoulder and gives her a kiss too, does the same to me and then follows C.J out.

What is going on with him?

"Mom," Ellie appears next to me. "Hey baby," I smile at her and her husband, "how are you feeling?"

"Pretty good," she admits, "the baby isn't giving me any trouble."

Zoey appears with Charlie and they strike up a conversation with Ellie.

"I'm going to check on the guests," I excuse myself.

Josh's POV:

Leo has taken a moment to talk with some senators. I am on my own to ponder this map. Just then Donna appears looking tired, "Josh, I'm taking Mrs. Santos and the children back to the hotel," she tells me.

"Okay," good they'll have someone to ward off press.

"It was a nice wedding wasn't it?" I glance at her weak smile.

"Yeah it was," I agree.

"See you," she heads off.

"Bye," I don't know if she hears me.

Leo walks up just then, "where's she off to?"

"She's taking Helen and the kids back," I respond.

"Josh, you need to take a break," he snatches the map.

"Leo," I protest.

"Ten minutes Josh, ask Donna to dance," he smiles at me.

Donna's POV:  
"Donna!" I turn to see Josh jogging up behind me. There's no electoral map in sight.

"Yes Josh," I wait.

"Dance with me?" he holds out his hand and I take it almost without thinking.


End file.
